Thursday, June 11, 2020

Jesus is the Love You've Dreamed About

Jesus wants to be your spiritual husband. "For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called." (Isaiah 54:5) (KJV) And, "For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee." (Isaiah 62:5) (KJV) God rejoices over us. God delights in us. "He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

We are the Bride of Christ, which is mentioned a lot in the Bible. Realistically, the Bible is God's love affair with us. Many think Songs of Solomon is the model for marriage. Yes, that's true, but it is also our model for our marriage to Christ.

God always wants to be first! Jesus is supposed to be your first love. "We love because he first loved us." (I John 4:19) Without loving Jesus, you really don't love anyone else the way God intended. God loves you so much he counts the hairs on your head. (Luke 12:17) Jesus really is nuts about you.

But, Jesus wants to be our first love.

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3) (KJV) And, of course, there are the first of two commandments of Jesus... "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matt 22:37) (KJV)

You are supposed to love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. Basically, God wants from us what He does for us. He probably doesn't get it from many Christians, but the few that ventures into actually doing it will reap something few Christians get. There is a fullness of God that he can let us experience and Jesus said he came so we might have life (salvation), and have life more abundantly. (John 10:10) Eternal life you get from salvation. But, abundant life you get from devotion to Jesus. You can never out love God.

But, God said David was a man after His own heart. (1 Sam 13:14; Acts 13:22)

You have to surrender your will to Jesus.

Honestly, I surrendered mine. I remember my devotion and acceptance at being a nun when I prayed something like this, "God, I give myself to you as a nun and a devote myself solely to you as your daughter, Jesus Christ as my husband and the Holy Spirit as my guide in Jesus's mighty name, Amen." The more I draw near to God, the more He'll draw near to me. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." (James 4:8) (NKJV)

I always fought surrendering my will to Jesus. Honestly, I didn't know what that meant. I do wonder what He has in store for me. But, I doubt it is anything terrible. David risked his life a lot to do God's will. But, he was king of Israel and an actual warrior that shed a lot of blood.

About a year ago, God called me to the ministry with a really odd dream. I remember it well. I was in the military and we had these uniforms that was nothing like I had seen. But, I had a special uniform reserved only for me. I got the feeling other soldiers knew I was different. Not in awe of me, but they knew I carried a responsibility few did. I actually think I was the only one that did. Anyway, my job was to fly a plane, which I never saw, deep into enemy territory.

I didn't know it then, but Transgender Church was my ministry. I was meant to minister to others like myself. Honestly, I don't know a whole lot about female to male Transgenders, but I've been a male to female Transgender for really 48 years. Being Transgender is difficult because the church really doesn't get us, probably doesn't even like us. I'm sure female to male Transgender is the opposite of my experience.

Yes, there are some churches that accept Transgenders, but are they really following the Word of God in all areas like they are supposed to? Not really. The ones I've seen are okay with Gay Marriage (it's a sin, argue all you want) and progressive. God is not a secular humanist. He's Holy. God doesn't care if you are gay or lesbian and even enjoy such fantasies in your head. But, when you engage in gay or lesbian sex with someone, it's a sin, argue with me all you want, try and justify it all you want, it's a sin. The Bible is really clear on that in Romans 1:27. Also, those that engage in sexual immorality will not inherit the kingdom of Heaven via 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. I'd say that's pretty darn explicit. I cover how that affects Transgenders in

I've written all kinds of erotic romance novels. Straight, gay, lesbian, Transgender. It's not a sin. A novel is a fantasy. We all have fantasies in our brains. But, when you act on that fantasy and actually have sex with the same gender, it's a sin. If you are gay and abstain, fine. God has no problem with you. It's the actual sex that'll get you into trouble. Romans 1:27 is really clear on that, as I already mentioned. And, since Gay/Lesbian sex is a sin, you automatically know Gay marriage is sin, too. I don't care what so-and-so says. I don't care what some preacher says. It's a sin, period. The Bible is our authority not the opinion of someone, even if they claim to be a minister.


The DNA can't be changed.

God loves you for you. But, you can't change your DNA no matter how much you transition your appearance. God is fine with transitioning. I could never afford it. But, you can't change the DNA. God will readily accept you as Transgender, but if you were born a man physically, sexual relations with a man is a sin. Same applies if you were born female and have sex with another woman. It's a sin, too. Be sure to read Transgender Q&A. It explains it all. If I were to transition, and, yes, I'd love to live as a physical woman, I would ask God first what He thought. God really doesn't mind you dressing up. It's not a sin. Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to wake up in the morning with a female body matching my inside. But, God has helped me tremendously by calling me Rachel and accepting me as her. He'll do the same for you, too. I used to tell people I was a lesbian, but the simple truth is, my DNA is male so I'm really not as much as I'd like to think I was. LOL God doesn't care about fantasies, but He does care about the sex we have with someone else. Since saying that prayer and devoting myself to Jesus as a nun, I'll have a fleeting thought about wanting someone, but it doesn't last long. I meant my prayer to God.

At any rate, Jesus is your husband.

Paul actually said, maybe in his opinion, Christians should be single. "For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that." (I Cor. 7:7) (KJV) But, that's not realistic. God did make Adam and Eve and said men should not be alone (Genesis 2:18). Even Paul said you should get married if you "burn with passion" (1 Cor. 7:9), which basically means if you're constantly lusting after everyone that crosses your path, get hitched. A husband can lust after his wife all day long, and a wife can lust after her husband all day long. In fact, aren't they supposed to desire each other sexually?

A little tidbit about marriage: the Husband's contributions makes all the difference. A woman can give and give, but it won't matter that much to a man that isn't giving. But, if the man gives everything, it will make all the difference unless the woman is just plain evil and totally into herself. Guys, God even warns you about such women in Proverbs 7. The warning was about adultery and said, "Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death." God described her as "Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is unruly and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)" Such a woman leads a man to ruin. Think Delilah and Sampson. Be wary of the temptress. Her silken words and sinful manners can destroy any man. And, girls, don't be that woman. Guys, look for a virtuous woman, and, girls, be one.

Maybe that's one of the reasons Paul loved singleness.

As far as me, I'll be quite honest here, I like the idea of marriage and sex with others. But, the reality left a lot to be desired. My rape when I was three and half years old ruined sex for me and made me hyper-sexual. It triggered that part of my Bipolar I disorder. I asked God to heal me of Bipolar and He lead me to understand sometimes healing is worse than the disease. Bipolars looooove their highs. Even with meds, I have my highs, but they are controlled, and, honestly, I don't want to be normal.

Let's face it, being Transgender is not the norm for anyone. It puts you at total odds with your physical body, and some can't handle such sexual fluidity. But, I love being a woman inside and have no desire to be male. I'm revealing myself here, but inside Rachel is a tough as nails woman that is also soft, loving, kind and feminine. She's a lioness with the heart of a woman. I'd much rather talk with others about how I feel than cars, football, or manly stuff. It's the reason so many women will confide in me just after we meet.

And, to be honest, when God called me "Rachel" in a dream–that changed my life in ways I'm still uncovering. Since I have Jewish blood and my Rachel persona was Jewish, I see why God liked the idea. But, then the Holy Spirit was totally excited when I decided to devote myself to God and be a "nun." He lead me there. It's odd, but as Rachel, I've never seen a person that could be my equal in life. I am totally content being Rachel inside. I just watch who I call "sweetie" and "honey." I sometimes totally forget people see a guy and not who I really am in Rachel. LOL

Men have a harder time with Jesus as Husband than women do. But, there is nothing sexual about it. It basically means, Jesus is your all. He wants to be your everything. He wants to be first in your life. It should be God, your spouse (if married), your kids, your job, etc. But, honestly, why I told God I'd be a nun was simple: I really want to see what God has in store for me. I just might get to see things few get to see and experience things few get to experience. Yes, it feels romantic, but it goes deeper. God really wants to satisfy all your needs. He wants to satisfy your physical needs, your emotional needs, your spiritual needs and even your sexual needs (not with Him, but He can give you Anointed Sex with yourself). God does offer Anointed Sex to Christians, which you can enjoy by yourself or with a spouse. Definitely the best sex I've ever had and it's just me. I'm Bipolar and God knows I'm hyper-sexual so the Anointed Sex I have has more than met that need.

But, Love is our main need.

Only God can give us Agape Love. That is the deepest love we can ever experience. Agape love is described as the love of God for man and the love of man for God. The depths of God's love really is beyond imagination. But, somehow, we can experience it if we only surrender our will to God, and love Him with all our heart, all our mind and all our soul as Jesus commanded. I definitely have felt infatuation for Jesus. Honestly, Christianity makes me horny, but that is just my individual response. However, infatuation with God will eventually go even deeper. For some, like me, it is the first step into a world I think few people get to go. Honestly, I'm married to Jesus. I made a vow to be a nun and be celibate for Jesus.

And, you bet your bottom dollar, I want to experience Agape Love to the fullest extent possible. Jesus promised it. "I come that you have life, and have life more abundantly." (John 10:10 paraphrase). Life is salvation. Life more abundantly is that experience of Agape love that St. Theresa called ecstasy. I don't know what she experienced exactly, but I want it. She had the abundant life. To get that, you have to surrender you will, devote yourself, and make Jesus your one and only like she did. I will tell you the closer you get to God, the closer the Holy Spirit will manifest Himself to you. You can feel the tingling and heat of the Spirit from head to toe. There is nothing like the Anointing.

Agape love has changed me. I'm finding I love everybody more and more each day. I want it to get to the point the only thing I see in another person is their soul. Since God is Love, and to love others, God has to love through you, I believe eventually that will happen. My endemic nature might not like it, but I want it. I want to go after God's heart. I don't know what that really means, and I may not get there, but I want it.

Yes, I have my doubts. And, I have my moments of "what the heck am I doing?" But, such thoughts are fleeting. Emotions are fleeting. You can't live life by your emotions because "the heart is desperately wicked." (Jeremiah 17:9) The heart is desperately wicked because it is never satisfied. The heart flows with the wind and is directionless. You basically have to master it. Feelings are wonderful things, but they should never control your life. I think they should be a confirmation of what you think. The heart should be subject to your mind and will not the other way around. The mind and will is the adult and the heart (emotions) are your child. The heart can move you to do things, but you should think it through first.

And, remember this, "love (human) was not meant to last." Pat Benatar sang that line in Shadows of the Night and I've never forgotten it. A soul mate is an extremely rare thing. Even then, that love will fade and has to be constantly nurtured. God's love is never-ending while a human's love eventually has an expiration date. You might be totally in love with someone and a year later have moved on. God never moves on, His love never grows cold, His love never gets stale. God's love is for eternity. And, the way to get more of it is to give it away.

C.S. Lewis said there were four loves: Agape, Eros (the sexual he called Venus), Philia (friend, siblings) and Storge (empathy or familiar like how a mom loves their child). Agape is charitable love, unmerited love and from God. But, I think C.S. Lewis had it wrong. All love is from God. At God's core, there is love. I honestly think the other three loves C.S. Lewis describes are really reflections of Agape. We are only capable of really loving anyone through God. Otherwise, we don't.

Jesus's love for us was stated here as the greatest: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). What is the greatest love? Sacrifice. If you really love someone, you'll sacrifice for them. And, if you are a husband, you have to be willing to die for your Bride like Jesus, the Husband, did for the Church, His Bride.

God can't leave you; He'll only get sweeter and sweeter!

If you are not a Christian, doesn't this all sound good?

On December 20,1991, I got saved in bed with bronchitis. It was a beautiful experience. So, can you! It changed my life forever.

Do you know Jesus?

Well, it is easy to know him and experience his undying, unfathomable love and affection.

He came and died for you.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) (KJV)

There is no greater love than Jesus.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) (KJV)

Accept Him today if you don't know him.

Sinner's Prayer

"Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior."

Now, go and tell someone and welcome to His Kingdom.

Amen and Hallelujah.

Pastix Rachel
Transgender Church

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