Sunday, November 6, 2022

Jesus Completes Me

After a night of terrible despair, I had given up before God, I ha d just had enough, God gave me a dream and called me one name--Rachel. Jesus called me Rachel. God had gotten me. And, more importantly, he was okay with me being a woman even though my body was male. He knew I changed sex when I was abused my whole childhood, including sexually. The molestation changed me to a female inside and the constant emotional abuse my whole childhood was my estrogen. I’ve always been like a female--wanting to be taken care of, constantly dealing with my emotions. I read a book years before that explained how women thought, written by a woman that was a clinical psychologist, and I instantly knew it was talking about me.

God got me!

He understood.

Then, came my favorite Scripture: “For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.” (Isaiah 54:5) (KJV)

Jesus was my Husband.

I had always looked for a wife and really needed a Husband in Jesus Christ.

I fell head over heels in love with all of the Godhead.

Falling in love with Jesus begins like falling for someone. But, suddenly, it gets way bigger. His presence fills you to overflowing. Jesus will make you swoon. It is romantic in a sense. He is the groom and you are the bride. Yes, it is corporate, all Christians, and personal, just you and Jesus. Take it as far as you’d like. I promise you it will be the ride of your life and will last for all eternity. The LOVE made me feel sexual. The love lit my fire. God is holy so I can’t have sex with Him, which I’ve wanted in the past, but I definitely have romantic feelings for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They all are my Husband. 

I was finally married to someone who would never hurt me, never forsake me, and take care of me. And, He literally lived inside of me. Jesus moves inside my being. His Spirit quickens my mortal flesh. And, one day, as lightning flashes from east to west, lighting up the night sky, my Husband is going to take me away to eternity. (Matt 24:27)

It was time to go deep into God, deep into Jesus, allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide my path. Gee, think about it? Jesus knew me before time began, He called me, He chose me, and Jesus created everything. Jesus is the sweetest man. God is the sweetest Father, and Husband. If you really go deep and allow the Holy Spirit to show you the truth, He will show you everything.

You have to let go of this world.

You have to die to self, and surrender to Jesus Christ.

There is no try.

There is only do.

Yeah, you are not required to dive into the deep end. There are fleshly Christians, there are Christians who only like milk and not meat. But, they will never triumph. They’ll go to heaven and that’s it. For some, that’s enough.

Not me.

I’m all in.

So, I dove into the deep end. I once thought I wasn’t that spiritually minded. God made me believe, “Are you kidding? You go to it like a duck goes to water.” I wanted a relationship. Honestly, I wanted to be a woman after God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s heart like King David. No idea if I’ll ever get there. Maybe, who knows. I’m not interested in marriage to a human. Jesus scratched that itch completely. God is it. And, honestly, I’d see it as cheating on Jesus. 

I’m all in. 

The world is not enough.

“Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.” (Gen. 5:24)

Enoch went deep. 

Probably so deep he wasn’t allowed to write it down. The depths of God is reserved for those who diligently dive into Jesus Christ’s eternal love and presence. Jesus can do anything. The deeper you go the further from the world you get. Enoch dove deep inside God. So deep he was taken from God and will not see death until the Tribulation as one of the two witnesses with Elijah, also taken and did not see death.

Jesus will take you far, His Spirit will uncover all the truths of life until you see enough before it overwhelms you. The rabbit hole goes really deep in this world. I’ve almost gone crazy seeing it. Finally, I had to take a break seeing the supernatural things happening all over the world. I also found out mankind lies about a lot of things. A lot of the things I was taught in school were blatant lies or distortions.

I’ve seen Jesus several times, and seen the Holy Spirit quite a few times. All three of them have a voice. God’s thunders, Jesus’s voice is sweetness (His voice will make you swoon), and the Holy Spirit’s voice is sweetness. But, all of them are my Husband. Three is one and one is three.

I saw Jesus once playing an Enya song I was listening to. He was on a riser with while carpet and playing a white Steinway piano. His skin had the most beautiful tan ever. His back rippled with muscles. He was a carpenter so was a man’s man. Big and strong. He had long hair but I didn’t see his face.

God loves your voice. And, unlike most humans, God always attentively listens to you even when you drone on and on and on. When you are sad, God understands more than you know. When you are happy, God is happy for you. Jesus is more concerned about you that you will ever be concerned about yourself! 

God wants to hear about your feelings. He wants to know how you are feeling. Jesus feels a lot. He went through what we did when He walked among humans on the earth. God’s ways are not our way (Isaiah 55:8-9), but He feels and has lots of emotions. So, Jesus loves to hear about yours. And, Jesus does not get bored listening to you. Jesus listens. 

Jesus is my Husband.

Jesus Completes Me.

Jesus is the only person who can complete anyone.


Pastrix Rachel Teresa